last weekend

Last weekend I attended a certain event. The event was done and so I was walking back to school with some girl I have known for a while. We were talking and honestly I do enjoy her company.

We seemed to have been enjoying each others company until we met some guy   and suddenly I wasn’t there anymore. She looked really thrilled seeing this guy and she forgot that I was even there. She was all consumed and focused on that guy that I had to just walk away as if we weren’t even walking together. For a moment I felt left out, rejected like I didn’t matter at all. I felt like I had no value to her. I felt small.

I don’t usually act or feel this way in situations like these, I usually wouldn’t care but I did that day (probably because I might have had a thing for her sometime back). I was surprised that I felt that way because normally I would just go “whatever”. But that’s not how I felt in this particular situation. I felt let down. It was a feeling I didn’t like (and am sure nobody does). I didn’t show any emotions or anything right away but inside I felt bad and insignificant.

I was mad but after a while it dawned on me and I realized that sometimes I do the same to other people too. I don’t pay attention to people that I should pay attention to. I tend to push other people out of my way, reject them unintentionally and making them feel small and insignificant. I treat other people sometimes like they don’t matter. These are the people that text me and I never reply back to or reply after some days. These are the people that are thrilled every time we meet but I look like they’re nobody or don’t even smile at them. These are the people that visit me and I never do the same at all.

This doesn’t mean I should pay attention to everyone, or text or email back each and every text or email I receive. It just means I can just show that I appreciate and put in little more effort in trying to show that even though I don’t always pay the attention they’re looking for, they still matter and that they aren’t worthless or insignificant.

This whole situation reminded me how bad it feels to be rejected and to be treated like you don’t matter. It made me realize how those people I don’t pay attention to must feel.

Am not mad at the girl or anything like that, am just grateful that this happened. Am grateful because it has taught me a lesson to try my best to appreciate the people around me and all that they do for me whether big or small.

 

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Author: Lephil

am a 20 year old Malawian. still in college. i like reading and lately writting too. just wanna share my opinions and ideas with the world.

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